The perfectionist trap

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What's a good way to start? This is probably my 15th blog that I have set up over the past 26 years of my life. Is there a good opening post? Probably not. Sometime it's just good enough to start and see where your train of thoughts takes you. It also does not really matter what I write, since most people will probably never read this post unless this blogs booms and some weird people (I'm a good prototype) will go back and trace down the first steps of this blog. 

Which brings me to perfectionism...

This flawed idea of having everything figured out before we start and nailing everything we do at first try which is simply unrealistic. That's also something that has stopped me from pursuing many of my interests in the pasts. Whether that was lack of commitment or fear of failure, that's quite debatable at this point. Nevertheless, it really took me a while to embrace and apply the concept of figuring things out as you go and accepting things as they are. It sounds banal but it did take a lot of time and self-assessment and reflection to get to where I am.

In my case it was a self-imposed pressured rooted in the way I was brought up, always compared to others. My small achievements were never enough and to this date, I feel like there is a little girl in me who is still awaiting for some level of acknowledgement from her parents, which is quite toxic and detrimental to one's self-esteem. Having high standards is a double edge sword. It could either be motivating or debilitating. What is the antidote to perfectionism, celebrating the small wins and prioritising effort over results. 

Not sure what has struck me today, I decided to sit down and type, no excuses, no planning, no brainstorming. It's just me sat down and writing what comes to my mind, which has been incredibly helpful because I already came up with so many other ideas that I would like to talk about and think about. Since I could now probably write forever about so many things related to the idea of perfectionism, self-esteem, ego, I will pause here and leave the post as it is because it does not need to be perfect. 



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