Parasocial relationships

I never heard of this terminology until the end of last year in the book Trick Mirror by Jia Torentino. 

Parasocial relationships are one-sided, non-reciprocal relationships in which an individual forms a sense of intimacy or connection with a media figure or fictional character. These relationships typically develop as a result of the individual's consumption of media such as television shows, movies, and social media platforms. The key characteristics of parasocial relationships include the feeling of intimacy or connection with the media figure or character, the lack of reciprocation or interaction from the media figure or character, and the fact that the relationship is based solely on the individual's consumption of media.

In the era of social media where we centre ourselves as the "main character" in our universe, anyone can become a public figure or an influencer.  One virtually needs no talents, no skills, and no knowledge to be seen, to be heard, to be followed by a bunch of strangers just to fuel their dopamine hit of likes, comments and praise. The algorithm can show your content on someone's feed thousands of miles away. You do not need to be under the Hollywood spotlight anymore to be known and recognised, with everyone a few clicks away, the only limitation that you have is the speed of your internet connection. 

The line between an actor and a public figure is really blurry these days. Either way, one really needs to put up a show out there to keep the audience entertained, whether it's using a trendy sound, telling an embarrassing life story, or saying some controversial opinions. People's online personas are their curated version of themselves, the ones they put out there for attention, feedback and some false feeling of connection. Trends come and go, and even anti-trend movements do become cliche. So to try to fit in this mould day after day, basing one's worth off the stranger's opinions is sad. Especially, since it's impossible to please everyone. Anything you put out there can be misinterpreted, or twisted against you. It ruins the essence of being a human and living an authentic life because most people do not shift this attention and intention inwards enough. 

These para-relationships create an illusion of having meaningful relationships around us and it's then easy to make one feel more entitled and narcissistic. Along with constant opinions, and comments, this feedback loop is the one that feeds your behaviour. An aesthetic sequence of pictures and videos you put up out there is meant to represent you for who you are and send the message to the outside world: hey look at me, this is my life. Your entire persona is reduced to 160 characters in our bio and 2000 characters in each post.

There are positives too, sure, but in my opinion, social media does more harm than good. Young people who are more susceptible to the less glamorous side of social media can be negatively impacted by it. Loneliness, unrealistic expectations, bullying, poor self-esteem, and no sense of self are just a few examples. Yet, not much has been done or imposed to change any of this because by putting yourself out there, YOU become the product in the world filed by consumption. You too then, become disposable. 

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